Feeling my feelings.

Sometimes I wonder why one minute I am super excited about everything in and around me ,and the next minute I am all grumpy and blue. As my usual daily routine, I was up this morning to do all preparations for the boys school runs.

I told them I won’t be dropping them in School today, that their Dad will be one doing School runs today. After that, I was back in my corner in the Bedroom. As I took the time to meditate on the Scriptures in the bathroom, it wasn’t making sense.

It was obvious my mind was not in the Bible reading, at that point, I wondered maybe I was just doing it religiously! but I knew it wasn’t sinking in rightly.

I was angry and sad at the same time and I knew why? There had been an unnecessary delay in the last lap of my Music project,I  been asking my Husband to look into it as he is the project manager,but I wasn’t getting the feedback I wanted.

According to him, the guys were having to do some other things that were coming up at the last minute etcetera. I couldn’t help the moodiness that overwhelmed me. Secondly, I was feeling uncomfortable with having my Mother- in -Law around and the pain was choking me in my chest.

She has been staying with us,after her major surgery in May, recuperating and getting back to her normal routine again. Thank God she is much better now, and I am like she should be taken back to her base. Not because she is a bad M.I.L(She is such a darling Mother-in -law) ,but because I don’t want History to repeat itself.

You see my Mother-In-Law, stayed with me in the first 6years of my marriage, in the name of taking care of me and my first child,and then she stayed until the second child was born,and weaned him as well. Taking care of all of us,before we knew it,she had spent 6 good years of course with all the melodramas.She did a great job, I think I am blessed to have an amazing M.I.L , maybe its because I am an amazing woman as well. Whichever way, I don’t want to have another episode of her staying longer than… I want my space!!!.

I ask the Mr the other day when he would be taken her  back to her based and his response was, ‘Is she disturbing you? I told she doesn’t have to disturb me before she goes back, at least she is much better now. Because I know that I am not too nice a person, I beginning to get tired of having her around., that I am getting unnecessarily agitated and angry.

I have been asking myself, “what if it was my mom that had surgery and had to stay with us? And I have been able to answer honestly.I will feel like that too! I am not enjoying the feeling  but I keep having it.

I have been praying as well, that God will help me,to just keep cool and hold on because after the Doctor’s appointment by the end of the month she will return back to her base.

I was visiting the WordPress Reader, Like I do regularly when I saw @Beckydue’s post Feel your Feeling…Allow yourself to be. It inspired me to write about what I have been feeling present, just before I started writing this post I told myself that I will not allow depression or sadness get the best of me, though things may not be working out the way I want it, I won’t let the situation steal my joy and my excitement.

Though I am feeling disappointed now, my work is been delayed unnecessarily, I know it will all end in praise. Though I may be entertaining fears that my M.I.L may overstay if I don’t voice out the right way,In the meantime I will try and make sure she enjoys the few days left for her to stay in my house.

Thanks Becky for you inspired this writing!

If there’s is anyone out there feeling sad,moody,disappointed or angry because of the situation,It’s okay to feel those emotions and even cry if you have to, but don’t let those emotions get the best of you.

Look on the bright side of things, this too shall pass and it will end in Praise

Reminding myself,

In your anger,do not sin!. Ephesians 4:26

Shalom

OBA2016@Thekingsoracle. All rights reserved.

 

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kingsoracle

kingsoracle

Indie jazz/soul recording artiste,author,speaker and teacher. passionate Christ lover,transformational leader,youth advocate.purpose driven wife and mother.

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Inspiring confidence and courage in people

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